Who's On Santa's Naughty List?

Ho Ho Ho! Hello again Power Players! Your old friend Kris Kringle here. Just checking in for the second part of my Who's Been Nice/Naughty feature where this time around I give you the inside info on who's been naughty.

Some might even say that I'm being naughty right now. Writing on a blog while flying over the Atlantic Ocean! Having just delivered all the presents to good little European boys and girls. Maybe even some future NHLers for Don Cherry to ridicule for their lack of grit!

A little known fact is that my sleigh just had cruise control installed this summer. Along with a satellite radio. XM of course so I can listen to NHL games. So while the technology (reindeers) do all the work, I can kick back with my laptop. Plus it'll be a little while until I reach Iceland so I've got some time to kill.

So what are we waiting for? Let's find out who in the hockey world has been naughty. We all know Ken Beckett, the creator and writer of The Power Play, has been naughty this year. That's what happens when you run an illegal puppy racing league out of your basement.

Barry Melrose
Barry has been on my naughty list for years now. Santa isn't a big fan of mullets you see. What really did him in this year were those comments about never wanting Tampa Bay to win another game. They're already awful enough Barry, you didn't need you to rub it in. And poor young, impressionable Steven Stamkos. Your comments about him not being NHL ready really hurt him. In fact, on his Christmas list this year he asked for your approval and the skills to become NHL ready. How am I supposed to deliver that?

Sean Avery and the Dallas Stars
This one's a no brainer. Sean's sloppy seconds comments were disgusting and Santa doesn't approve. The only sloppy seconds I like are when you dip your cookies into milk and then your second bite of the cookie is all soggy. Ho Ho Ho! Now Dallas, when you signed Avery in the summer to that big contract you knew what you were getting yourselves into. And when you abandoned him and booted him off your team it was a cowardly move. That reminds me of when Rudolph first started out and he was ashamed of his red nose and all he wanted was some courage. Wait, am I mixing up the story of Rudolph and the cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz? I think somebody might have spiked some of the milk I drank in Europe. I bet it happened in Ireland. They're always pulling drunken pranks like that.

Washington Capitals
To be honest guys, I don't have you on my naughty list but somebody must. How else do you explain all those injuries to your team. Does anybody have any outstanding debts to the mob?

Alexander Semin
A few months ago, Alexander dared to speak out about the "talents" of golden boy Sidney Crosby. How dare he. Sid is the lord and saviour of the league and the most talented man to ever touch a hockey stick. Maybe Semin's comments actually explain all the injuries to the Caps. Karma sure is tough.

Joe Sakic
Yes the Colorado Avalanche veteran is on the naughty list. And I don't use the term "veteran" loosely as Joe is the same age as me! Ho Ho Ho! Sakic's been naughty by not resting and trying to recover from his serious back surgery. He even went so far as to clear out his driveway when it snowed. Well that backfired. While trying to clear out a clog he broke three fingers and will miss even more time. Joe, maybe for Christmas I'll get you a professional who can do those sorts of things for you. Heck, you wouldn't even need a professional. I'm sure you could find a neighbourhood kid who would do it for ten dollars. Or maybe even for some Joe Sakic autographed hockey sticks. Actually, considering how expensive hockey sticks are these days, you had better just give him the ten bucks.

Well that's it for me. There of course have been a lot of other very naughty guys in hockey this year (I'm keeping my eye on you Wayne Gretzky, you know why) but duty calls and all the little children of Iceland need their gifts. Plus I think I saw Dancer and Prancer socializing instead of driving the sleigh. It looks like Santa's going to have to lay down the law.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! And Season's Greetings to everyone who celebrates non-Santa/Christmas related holidays! Ho Ho Ho!