Who's On Santa's Naughty List?

Ho Ho Ho! Hello again Power Players! Your old friend Kris Kringle here. Just checking in for the second part of my Who's Been Nice/Naughty feature where this time around I give you the inside info on who's been naughty.

Some might even say that I'm being naughty right now. Writing on a blog while flying over the Atlantic Ocean! Having just delivered all the presents to good little European boys and girls. Maybe even some future NHLers for Don Cherry to ridicule for their lack of grit!

A little known fact is that my sleigh just had cruise control installed this summer. Along with a satellite radio. XM of course so I can listen to NHL games. So while the technology (reindeers) do all the work, I can kick back with my laptop. Plus it'll be a little while until I reach Iceland so I've got some time to kill.

So what are we waiting for? Let's find out who in the hockey world has been naughty. We all know Ken Beckett, the creator and writer of The Power Play, has been naughty this year. That's what happens when you run an illegal puppy racing league out of your basement.

Barry Melrose
Barry has been on my naughty list for years now. Santa isn't a big fan of mullets you see. What really did him in this year were those comments about never wanting Tampa Bay to win another game. They're already awful enough Barry, you didn't need you to rub it in. And poor young, impressionable Steven Stamkos. Your comments about him not being NHL ready really hurt him. In fact, on his Christmas list this year he asked for your approval and the skills to become NHL ready. How am I supposed to deliver that?

Sean Avery and the Dallas Stars
This one's a no brainer. Sean's sloppy seconds comments were disgusting and Santa doesn't approve. The only sloppy seconds I like are when you dip your cookies into milk and then your second bite of the cookie is all soggy. Ho Ho Ho! Now Dallas, when you signed Avery in the summer to that big contract you knew what you were getting yourselves into. And when you abandoned him and booted him off your team it was a cowardly move. That reminds me of when Rudolph first started out and he was ashamed of his red nose and all he wanted was some courage. Wait, am I mixing up the story of Rudolph and the cowardly lion from The Wizard of Oz? I think somebody might have spiked some of the milk I drank in Europe. I bet it happened in Ireland. They're always pulling drunken pranks like that.

Washington Capitals
To be honest guys, I don't have you on my naughty list but somebody must. How else do you explain all those injuries to your team. Does anybody have any outstanding debts to the mob?

Alexander Semin
A few months ago, Alexander dared to speak out about the "talents" of golden boy Sidney Crosby. How dare he. Sid is the lord and saviour of the league and the most talented man to ever touch a hockey stick. Maybe Semin's comments actually explain all the injuries to the Caps. Karma sure is tough.

Joe Sakic
Yes the Colorado Avalanche veteran is on the naughty list. And I don't use the term "veteran" loosely as Joe is the same age as me! Ho Ho Ho! Sakic's been naughty by not resting and trying to recover from his serious back surgery. He even went so far as to clear out his driveway when it snowed. Well that backfired. While trying to clear out a clog he broke three fingers and will miss even more time. Joe, maybe for Christmas I'll get you a professional who can do those sorts of things for you. Heck, you wouldn't even need a professional. I'm sure you could find a neighbourhood kid who would do it for ten dollars. Or maybe even for some Joe Sakic autographed hockey sticks. Actually, considering how expensive hockey sticks are these days, you had better just give him the ten bucks.

Well that's it for me. There of course have been a lot of other very naughty guys in hockey this year (I'm keeping my eye on you Wayne Gretzky, you know why) but duty calls and all the little children of Iceland need their gifts. Plus I think I saw Dancer and Prancer socializing instead of driving the sleigh. It looks like Santa's going to have to lay down the law.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! And Season's Greetings to everyone who celebrates non-Santa/Christmas related holidays! Ho Ho Ho!

Lightning Fire Back

Remember all those not so nice things that ex-Tampa Bay Lightning head coach Barry Melrose had to say about the Lightning on Tuesday? Well the Lightning think they were pretty uncool and are fighting back.

Len Barrie, the co-owner of the Bolts that Melrose doesn't like, appeared on Tony Esposito's XM radio show In The Slot [ed. note: Giggidy giggidy] and expressed his view on how things went down with the mulleted one.

"I don't know who was in telling Barry what to do because I don't like to get up in the morning," Barrie said. "I never heard about that. It must have been (co-owner) Oren Koules or (general manager) Brian Lawton, but I have a hard time believing that. We had four coaches there that we let coach."

Barrie also said it was some of Melrose's other comments and actions that led to his firing. He recalled an incident in early November where Melrose addressed the team at practice before walking out and leaving Tocchet to run the actual practice, as well as Melrose's verbal attacks on some of his players.

"For me, it just came down to when Barry went after Vinny Lecavalier and then went after the team and walked off the ice," Barrie said. "You can't lose the hockey team in a six-week period and Barry said it himself that he lost the team and didn't connect with the guys. If you don't connect with your team and you've lost the team 15 games into the season, you're dead."

Melrose's replacement Rick Tocchet has also weighed in on some of Melrose's criticisims and he appears to be angered and confused, and lost and cold, and wolves are chasing him.

"I take it personal, to be honest, I'm not a puppet," Tocchet told the Tampa Tribune. "Ownership doesn't tell me who to play; they have been very supportive of me. I have a great coaching staff that helps me make decisions and we're making strides now. This is our training camp right now. We're trying to get our systems into place, and we now have a system."

In his comments on Tuesday, Melrose was also especially tough on #1 overall draft choice Steven Stamkos saying that he isn't NHL ready, and of course Tocchet doesn't quite agree.

"I just think he's wrong," Tocchet said. "I don't think his assessment is right. I think Steve Stamkos is a dynamic, young player. It's my job, and our staff's, to teach him to play the right way. He's done that sometimes, and sometimes he's made mistakes, and that's the process of a young guy."

Will all these guys get a room already? I say if the league is fine with giving Sean Avery anger management therapy sessions, then Gary Bettman needs to look into putting these three into relationship counselling therapy. They're like that couple everyone knows who just won't stop bickering and who you know are so wrong for each other but you just want to see it work out because you like the people involved.


[Source]

Sour Mulleted Grapes

Recently fired Tampa Bay Lightning coach/mullet icon Barry Melrose was on sports radio station Fan 590 Tuesday morning and had some not so nice things to say about his time with the Bolts.

While he didn't name the people involved, Melrose said that he dealt with constant interference from people in the organization.

"I had guys in Tampa who wanted to run the team and I wouldn't let them. I was hired to coach and I coached," Melrose told the Fan 590. "I wasn't playing the right guys. I was playing certain guys too much, I wasn't playing other guys enough. Every day was a constant battle."

When asked about who he was talking about, Melrose said he had a lot of respect for co-owner Oren Koules, but didn't want to bring up the other co-owner Len Barrie.

"They gave me a chance to coach and I will always appreciate that, but like I said, I hope Oren Koules does well, I like Oren."

Despite more off-season changes than any other team in the league, Tampa Bay are the worst team in the league, with a 6-13-8 record. In the 11 games they have played since Melrose's firing, the Bolts have won just one measily game.

When Melrose was asked if that statistic made him feel good, the former coach and now ESPN hockey analyst was very honest.

"I'm not going to lie to you, yeah it does, and any coach who tells you otherwise is a liar," Melrose told the Fan 590, adding, "I hope Tampa Bay doesn't win a game in the next year."

Later on in the interview Melrose would go on to say that Lightning rookie Steven Stamkos isn't NHL ready and that he doesn't like replacement coach Rich Tocchet because his hair isn't as nice as Melrose's glorious mullet. Okay, that last one he didn't come out and say but you know he was thinking it.

[Source]

Bye Bye Barry

As well all know by now, Barry Melrose left his job as hockey analyst at ESPN to become head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning this season.

Like any good employer, ESPN threw a going away shin dig for Melrose at The Greatest Bar in Boston. Was there a vote? Are they allowed to call themselves that? I've been to some pretty great bars in my day.

Anyhow, when I heard there was a party for mullet icon Barry Melrose, I was hoping it would be your classic mullet redneck party. Sweet Home Alabama blaring on the sound system, guys in wife beater shirts with stains on them, missing teeth, and the movie Joe Dirt playing in the background. That's the mullet people's favourite movie you know.

Instead it features a bunch of people saying nice things about an apparently very nice guy, being interviewed by a very visually nice host. I don't know if she's actually nice so I can only comment on her appearance. Usually attractive female hosts are not nice at all however. Always not answering my letters or calls. Or spraying mace in my eyes, or filing a restraining order keeping me 50 feet away from them. Prove me wrong interviewer lady!





[Source]