Who's On Santa's Nice List?

Ho ho ho! The big red guy here. You also might know me as Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, or Papa C. I'm just about to head out for my annual trip around the world. Pretty sweet gig eh? Get to travel the world and only work one day a year.

Before I load up the sleigh and feed the reindeers their traditional pre-flight meal of carrots and red bull, I thought I would give you some inside information on who in the hockey world are on my nice and naughty lists.

Should I actually be preparing for Christmas instead of writing 0n this here blog. Perhaps yes. But nobody ever told Santa what to do. Except for Mrs. Claus of course. She's a real ball buster.

So without further adieu, here is a look at my nice list. The naughty list will be revealed in a later post. Once I'm done shovelling all the coal out of the North Pole's furnace to give to those guys.

Snow
Ho ho ho! You've got to love the white stuff. I'm of course referring to snow, not cocaine. It's especially nice when hockey is played in the snow and that's what the NHL will do when it holds it's now annual Winter Classic next week in Chicago. This has become one of my favourite events of the year as it falls during my after Christmas vacation. Nothing thrills me more than sitting in my nice warm room, snuggled up under the covers, being fed cookies and hot chocolate by elves, while watching millionaires play hockey in the bitter freezing cold.

Jeff Carter, Philadelphia Flyers
The youngster is leading the NHL with goals and is having a season to remember yet will still not be voted on to the All-Star team. What an injustice! And he has to wear those hideous orange Flyers third jerseys. Having to put up with that embarassment alone puts him on the nice list.

Scott Clemmensen, New Jersey Devils
First of all, he plays for a team named the Devils which is very naughty. I mean why not go with the name Angels? Oh, it's already taken by a baseball team? Fair enough. So remember when Martin Brodeur went down with an injury and everybody predicted the end of the world in New Jersey? Well Clemmensen has been brilliant in net and kept the Devils right in the thick of things. And on top of that, he has 11 wins this season. More wins than he had the past four seasons combined!

Boston Bruins and San Jose Sharks
These two teams have been playing such good, dominating hockey! What a lovely surprise! Especially for the long suffering sports fans of Boston who have had to deal with terribly awful sports teams over the past few years. It must be nice for them to finally have a winner on their hands. What's that you say? The Celtics, Patriots, and Red Sox have all won championships in the last 5 years? And now they have a dominant Bruins team? If Boston area sports fans get to full of themselves, they might secure a spot on my naughty list.

Mats Sundin
Most people might think that for leaving the hockey world on edge for six months would put Sundin on my naughty list. And I'll be honest, me and the my advisors (elfs) had a long debare about the Big Swede. But ultimately Santa is as big a hockey fan as you are and is just glad this whole Sundin thing is over with. Thank you Mats! Just please don't put us through this again next off-season.

Sidney Crosby
He is the NHL's golden boy and deserves to be treated as such. Nothing further.

There's more who are on the nice list, but I drink a lot of milk to wash down all those cookies, so I have to make a quick trip to the bathroom. Make sure you check in later to see who in the hockey world goes on my naughty list!

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! There are other holidays, but it's in my Santa contract that I'm not allowed to acknowledge them. Sorry Jewish people!

On The Fritz

During Tuesday's Islanders/Flyers game, Riley Cote and Mitch Fritz dropped the gloves and proceeded to have themselves one hell of a heavyweight fight.

It started off with a bunch of solid quick shots which cut both guys open, but then turned into what looks like one of those weird moments in boxing when the fighters appear to just be hugging each other and making plans to hook up for dinner after the bout. Either way this was a good fight, and once they were split up both Fritz and Cote looked as if they had just come from the set of a horror movie.

If only we could get Mitch Fritz to battle it out with Cal Clutterbuck of the Minnesota Wild to determine who has the funnest name in hockey to say. Now that would be a fight I would pay $54.99 to watch on pay-per-view.

Flyers Third Jerseys Hurt My Eyes

On Tuesday the Philadelphia Flyers unveiled their new third jerseys during an exclusive Season Ticket Holder Meeting, and all I have to say is I hope there were garbage cans or barf bags around because those things are terrible.

Sure I understand that the orange jerseys are part of the history of the Philadelphia Flyers, but I was hoping that's what it would remain, history. I thought there was a reason they got rid of the orange in the first place, and that it wouldn't rear it's ugly head again.

Were the designers going for the pumpkin look because somebody needs to tell them that Halloween was last month. Or maybe they're fine with the players looking like giant pylons. I mean because he's so slow, Flyers d-man Derian Hatcher is like a human pylon anyhow, at least now he'll look the part.

I'm also not a fan of the white block behind the lettering on the back. It looks like Red Green got hold of the jerseys and used the handyman's secret weapon (duct tape) and wrote the letters on with a sharpie.

These monstrosities make their on ice debut on November 28th against the Carolina Hurricanes, so make other plans that night.

Here's video of the unveiling, just in case you're into punishing your eyes. I would suggest putting on some sunglasses before pressing play. Thankfully as a safety precaution I always wear sunglasses indoors. I also like to pop my collar, but that's just the type of guy I am.

Flyers Fans Mercilessly Boo Sarah Palin

The Wachovia Center must have been filled with the liberal left wing gotcha media who's so in the can for Barack Obama on Saturday night. Because from the sounds of it, everyone in attendance was not happy to see Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin drop the puck before the Philadelphia Flyers' home opener against the New York Rangers.

The organizers of the photo-op tried every trick in the book to counter any booing. Cute little girl in home team jersey? Check. Palin's knocked up 16 year old daughter? Check. Music so loud that you can't even hear yourself think to drown out the boos? Check. But even with all that, the booing still came through loud and clear.

Really this couldn't have been too much of a surprise coming from Philadelphia sports fans. After all, this is the same city of fans who booed Santa Claus and threw snow balls at him. In addition they also once cheered as an opposing team’s star player lay motionless on the turf after sustaining what turned out to be a career-ending neck injury, threw batteries at a player who refused to sign with the Phillies baseball team and last month jeered their own mascot for dropping a foul ball.

The real question is if Sarah Palin was at the Wachovia Center dropping the ceremonial first puck, then who was in Alaska watching the Russians? Uh-oh.

Palin Puck Drop

All those Joe Sixpacks, mavericks, and hockey moms in Philadelphia are in for a real treat as Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin will drop the ceremonial first puck when the Philadelphia Flyers open the regular season against the New York Rangers on Saturday.

Palin, the Alaska governor and self-described "hockey mom," will join the winner of a team promotion for the "Ultimate Hockey Mom" to drop the puck.

Last month, Palin visited a Philadelphia bar with Flyers owner Ed Snider who has donated money to Republican presidential nominee John McCain's campaign. Drunken times with a millionaire business owner? I smell a scandal! Get me the Obama campaign on the phone!

"Because of the tremendous amount of publicity she has brought to our sport, we invited the most popular hockey mom in North America to our home opener to help us get our season started," Snider said in a team statement Wednesday. "We are very excited she has accepted our offer and we are very proud of the publicity she is generating for hockey moms and the sport of hockey."

Well as long as she just drops the puck and doesn't say anything so that I don't have to hear that grating voice or any of those terrible folksy jokes when she's trying too hard to relate to the common man (or Joe Sixpack as she'd say) then I'm fine with that. Seriously, why does she sound like a character from the movie Fargo? I thought she was from Alaska, not North Dakota or Minnesota.

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