Oh Captain, My Captain

Both the East and West have their captains for the All-Star game, as earlier Thursday the NHL announced the men who will lead their respective conferences.

For the West it will be Joe Thornton of the San Jose Sharks. This is Thornton's sixth consecutive all-star appearance, his first as captain. Though he has struggled at the ASG, going pointless in 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2007. He was finally able to get on the score sheet last year in Atlanta when he recorded an assist.

"I'm shocked and excited," said Thornton. "It's a big honor to be named captain of an All-Star Team. Unbelievable. There are so many good players on the team. They must have picked me because I'm getting old."

Thankfully Joe said what we were all thinking with that getting old comment. Speaking of getting old, Alex Kovalev will be the guy to wear the "C" for the Eastern Conference in front of the hometown Montreal fans. I'm a master of transitions aren't I.

This will mark Kovalev's third all-star appearance, and first as captain. Though Kovy has worn the "C" much of this season for the Montreal Canadiens while regular captain Saku Koivu has been out with a mysterious lower body injury.

Those the worst, when you're whole lower body is injured. Like how do you even get around. I guess that's what servants are for. And for feeding you grapes. They do that too. I need to get me one of those lower body injuries. Here I am moving around and feeding grapes to myself like a sucker.

[Source]

Who's On Santa's Nice List?

Ho ho ho! The big red guy here. You also might know me as Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, or Papa C. I'm just about to head out for my annual trip around the world. Pretty sweet gig eh? Get to travel the world and only work one day a year.

Before I load up the sleigh and feed the reindeers their traditional pre-flight meal of carrots and red bull, I thought I would give you some inside information on who in the hockey world are on my nice and naughty lists.

Should I actually be preparing for Christmas instead of writing 0n this here blog. Perhaps yes. But nobody ever told Santa what to do. Except for Mrs. Claus of course. She's a real ball buster.

So without further adieu, here is a look at my nice list. The naughty list will be revealed in a later post. Once I'm done shovelling all the coal out of the North Pole's furnace to give to those guys.

Snow
Ho ho ho! You've got to love the white stuff. I'm of course referring to snow, not cocaine. It's especially nice when hockey is played in the snow and that's what the NHL will do when it holds it's now annual Winter Classic next week in Chicago. This has become one of my favourite events of the year as it falls during my after Christmas vacation. Nothing thrills me more than sitting in my nice warm room, snuggled up under the covers, being fed cookies and hot chocolate by elves, while watching millionaires play hockey in the bitter freezing cold.

Jeff Carter, Philadelphia Flyers
The youngster is leading the NHL with goals and is having a season to remember yet will still not be voted on to the All-Star team. What an injustice! And he has to wear those hideous orange Flyers third jerseys. Having to put up with that embarassment alone puts him on the nice list.

Scott Clemmensen, New Jersey Devils
First of all, he plays for a team named the Devils which is very naughty. I mean why not go with the name Angels? Oh, it's already taken by a baseball team? Fair enough. So remember when Martin Brodeur went down with an injury and everybody predicted the end of the world in New Jersey? Well Clemmensen has been brilliant in net and kept the Devils right in the thick of things. And on top of that, he has 11 wins this season. More wins than he had the past four seasons combined!

Boston Bruins and San Jose Sharks
These two teams have been playing such good, dominating hockey! What a lovely surprise! Especially for the long suffering sports fans of Boston who have had to deal with terribly awful sports teams over the past few years. It must be nice for them to finally have a winner on their hands. What's that you say? The Celtics, Patriots, and Red Sox have all won championships in the last 5 years? And now they have a dominant Bruins team? If Boston area sports fans get to full of themselves, they might secure a spot on my naughty list.

Mats Sundin
Most people might think that for leaving the hockey world on edge for six months would put Sundin on my naughty list. And I'll be honest, me and the my advisors (elfs) had a long debare about the Big Swede. But ultimately Santa is as big a hockey fan as you are and is just glad this whole Sundin thing is over with. Thank you Mats! Just please don't put us through this again next off-season.

Sidney Crosby
He is the NHL's golden boy and deserves to be treated as such. Nothing further.

There's more who are on the nice list, but I drink a lot of milk to wash down all those cookies, so I have to make a quick trip to the bathroom. Make sure you check in later to see who in the hockey world goes on my naughty list!

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! There are other holidays, but it's in my Santa contract that I'm not allowed to acknowledge them. Sorry Jewish people!

Third Jersey Round Up

Over the weekend while I was busy sobbing like a baby during the Patrick Roy ceremony, and while you were busy searching Craigslist for local hook-ups, a whole slew of NHL teams released their third jerseys. I'm really not thrilled with the fact that they're mostly all black. No that's not me being racist, I do support Barack Obama after all. Changing topics, let's take a closer look at the third jerseys...

San Jose Sharks - Not too much of a departure from their current home jerseys, but now the Shark has a tail! And they've got drawstrings and shoulder patches! Where can I drop $120 for these?

Los Angeles Kings - This is one of the rare occassions where I like the black jerseys. Mostly because there's no purple on them and these harken back to the Kings jerseys from the 90's. I only wish they would've went 100% with the retro look and brought back the old logo, or Wayne Gretzky. Or maybe a Wayne Gretzky logo!












Tampa Bay Lightning - Words as a logo? Words as a logo?! So now I have to read when I watch hockey? That is not cool with me Tampa Bay. Not cool at all! Also can I start calling them the Tampa Bay Bolts? Dangerously close to the Indianapolis Colts if you ask me. Colts or Bolts, which team is which? I hope I don't confuse Peyton Manning for Vincent Lecavalier. The French Canadian guy is the quarterback right? Damn! It's started already.
























Phoenix Coyotes - These duds challenge Atlanta and Philly's third sweaters for worst in the league. Where did they get that logo? Off the side of a Greyhound bus? And as if these sweaters weren't bad enough, they went with red helmets and pants to add to the overall hideousness.
























Ottawa Senators - See my Tampa Bay notes from above in regards to not wanting to read a logo. Though I do like the stripes on the sleeves. They're mesmerizing. But that also might be due to the hallucenagetic drugs.
















Boston Bruins - Black jerseys have been in Boston for as long as baked beans, clam chowder, and jumping on the Patriots bandwagon when they're winning. i.e. Forever. So I'm fine with the colour, and I also like the crest on the chest. Though I think by featuring a bear on their logo, the Boston Bruins have made themselves a powerful enemy in Stephen Colbert.

Notable Quotable of the Day

“It was one of those crazy nights when the last guy standing wins. You got to win all different ways. Two points is two points. And on the road against a team that hasn’t lost in regulation, it’s a nice win for us.”

- San Jose Sharks goalie Brian Boucher on Sunday night's hard fought 6-5 victory over the Chicago Blackhawks.

Let's Get Ready To Rumble!

If a shark actually fought a penguin, I think it's safe to say the shark would win. And hey what do you know, during Tuesday night's Penguins vs. Sharks game, there was one hell of a fight between Eric Godard of the Pens and veteran tough guy Jody Shelley of the Sharks.

And just like out in the wild, the Shark wins this battle as well.